when i'm bored, i just feel sick. maybe it's the other way around, or a combination of both too? i have a headache, and my hair is still horrible. i'm not seeing andria this weekend, and i don't know what to do. i can not look forward to this, but there's tons of stuff i need to do here, it's just not motivating.

hi. it smells like paint cause my dad decided to spray paint the black spots on the bathroom wall. that's not helping the headache.
posted by david star at 7:51 PM

and andria refuses to blog cause she doesn't have a profile. i have nothing to do this weekend, and i feel like i have a vitamin stuck in my chest. now eat then work. fun fun. i wish my hair looked a little better, then everything would be ok.
posted by david star at 8:40 AM

this is the worst. a response on how one felt about history.

"to me, its just useless facts. like, i'm going to be a math major. i don't care about stuff from sooo long ago."

im sorry, this just killed me.
posted by jamie o. at 7:11 PM

driving to napa wasn't as bad as i thought it was. no excessive lane changes, no near accidents, and nothing to dramatic. i must say, the whole gas station bathroom thing got me a little. i stopped to pump gas thinking i can use their restroom, but to no avail. so i went into the leg of the trip i feared the most with a full bladder, and anticipation. scary. two lane highway with turns and all these fun obstacles. i didn't think i was gonna actually go sixty. it was fine anyways, and fun.

thinking we were bumping, we rolled up to andria's house with big pimpin on the stereo. i guess she couldn't hear it cause we had a blown speaker in the car. . there goes the whole novelty thing behind it. so we had dinner, got my goodnight kiss and left. . off to drive back home. nothing to drastic, and mikey came back with a bagful of condoms. oh no, it's on.
posted by david star at 8:23 AM

la di da di da di da di da, la di da, la di da.
posted by jamie o. at 9:15 PM

i swear i tried doing this the other day and not having it come through. it was actually yesterday i think. so temporarily, i've replaced this with my written journal, which is kinda sad. i don't really have too much say anymore, and it seems like everything i have to say has been said. am i getting boring or what not? let's hope not.

weird moment of the day was also the sick moment of the day. my friend mark gave me a disposable camera to develop.. not knowing what was on there.. and since it was from probably 1996, i wanted to do it fr him so i can see what was on there. i like doing film fr nice kids. so i pushed it through, so see pictures of his penis on the negative. i freaked out and cut up the negatives. . they weren't really printable since it was old anyways, but yeah. i think i rather see dead ppl highway patrol pictures than penis pictures. sick sick. i feel almost violated. almost.

i came home early from work because they didn't need me. i need the money, but i guess it was nice to be home. not fun when there's no one to talk to. it's ok. i like to whine abt the little things.

i'm driving to napa today. tonite. i'm scared of the canyon i have to drive around to get there. two lane highways and no lighting. blah. and the whole merging thing i have not figured out yet.. but i'll get it. gun it and go as fast as possible when getting on the freeway. take care. i hope i make it back.

posted by david star at 4:58 PM

i feel forgotten, i feel like i have forgotten, i feel different. i am looking at things in a different light. different than the one i thought was already different. (talking in circles, yadda yo..) it's another time where i feel distant but in a way of examination, this is where i get confused. but how often is it that i am not confused? yeah, my stance is a constant of confusion, but eh, it feels a lot better knowing that i do not know everything. if i did, i would be scared. well, i would also be immortal and God, but yeah, the human part crawls in and i smile. let's jam! life is on.

(the blues is number one!)
posted by jamie o. at 5:53 PM

i'm never really sure if violence is the answer to things.. as good as it sounds sometimes, what would it accomplish. like the kids that were waiting fr eighteen visions to come out of gilman the other nite so they can beat them up. sure sure, they've probably done some bad things in the lifetime.. and probably even deserve it, but what does this all accomplish. what does jumping a group of kids you don't like do. it helps you, it builds yr self esteem.. it makes you tough.. but does it help the problem at all?

this all is quite disturbing to me. . but what can i do. question, and just stand back? i really don't know. i'll just go to work fr now and be quiet quiet.

oh yeah. rock on. the coolest canadian ever. ever.
posted by david star at 8:33 AM

hello world. remember me? your long lost internet friend. i received one of those,"somebody has a crush on you!" emails. i think it's preciously annoying and mean. someone real cruel sent it to me. i know it. not much has happened to me since i last left you. i got sick. i am getting better. and it's the same old same old still. i think i like that. thought is a beautiful thing, so is progress, so is this weather. the sun makes me feel guilty that i am not outside running around. soon enough. i will run with bear. i think he may have a tumor in his stomach. i am very worried, but neither of my parents have gotten around to taking him in to the vet yet. i am not able to take him, so i just need to wait, as he has been for even longer. my sweet sweet dog, i wonder what goes on in his head a lot. he stares at my mother a lot and it drives her nuts. maybe he is trying out a technique of mind control; i am not sure.
posted by jamie o. at 2:10 PM

no one's been blogging. so so sad. i wonder if the same amount of ppl have been coming here everyday even when there's not too much activity. i wonder. it's friday. andria isn't coming to pick me up.. which throws things off a little bit. i just didn't know what to do when i got off work today. you know.. it's one of those things where i didn't know what to do. i am so used to seeing her fridays.. but it's ok.

i have nothing to do tonite. nothing. i don't know. i went to the piercing place yesterday. twice to get my labret adjusted. it doesn't even mean that much to me.. so it wouldn't matter either way if it was still on, you know? i'm vain. . but i'm not that in favor of having this pain thing around fr long.

i miss you jamie o. blog. call me. . everyone's been so busy.. she's been dancing away. andria's been working. i've been working. i think that's all i do now. see her, and work. work more than anything else. it's ok. i've finally overcome the whole four hour work day.. i can actually work a little more now.. six hours.. or around there now. it's really lax. it's the photo lab.. what's that stressful abt it . . so i mess up sometimes, but it's not very often.

rock on. bye.
posted by david star at 5:22 PM

cause i'm sidetracked. i think that's the answer. cause i'm taking a break. maybe i'm not comfortable, or is it because i'm too comfortable. i am ok with where i am right now. . although i haven't been doing the activism i was doing. i'm spending all my free time with her, but i'm still not getting enough. i still miss her every minute she's away.

cause i'm sidetracked, and i don't know what to do without her.
posted by david star at 8:42 PM

i am eating soy delicious for breakfast. yeah. thats sick. it took me 45 minutes of searching for my belt to find it sitting exactly where the belts go. how disappointing.
posted by andria dinse at 8:15 AM

i'm sick.
this isnt good.
fighting for the truth! truth! truth!
and the truth will be begot.
posted by jamie o. at 10:21 AM

it took the dead prez cd i gave mikey fr his birthday to awake all these feelings. so i know i'm still political at heart.. personal politics being worked on moreso than ever. i just know that i need to be doing what makes me happy right now and not have to worry abt anything else. work is fine, it's actually great. . . but things seem to have changed. . and i'm just coming home from work relaxing the day away. .

i'm sidetracked. talking to my friend julie from high school. it's been three years since i left. three. i would have just left last year if i stayed. time to go to bed after being sidetracked fr fifty minutes.
posted by david star at 10:55 PM

i'm lonely. . and that's what i typed when i tried talking to suzanne. try, by the way. .
posted by david star at 8:58 PM

i am trying to waste time before i have to go to work. i have this problem with staying at davids so lte that i am too tired to drive home. but i have to drive home, so i just drive home sleepy. its not a good thing. i got stuck behind this oil truck on jameson canyon that was going 35 miles an hour. i wanted to cry. no. i wanted to sleep and not being able to do so made me want to cry.

some dumb boy, who shall remain nameless, made my little sister upset. and thats crushing. he made fun of one of her paintings and she got sad. so...i made her a present. i hope she feels better. because shes one of my favorites.

i dont have a profile on here. the incognito team rock member.
posted by andria dinse at 9:01 AM

come see:
the music man: march 22, 23, 24, 29, 30, 31; april 5, 6, 7
the dance concert: may 23, 24, 25, 26

call for tickets: 408.513.2438
posted by jamie o. at 9:32 PM

i am at jasons house.i am waiting for him to get home. he went away to oregon for 4 days....he gave me his house while he was gone. all i had to do was be nice to his one plant. its a pepper plant. i made him cookies. half of them are oatmeal chocolate chip and the other half has carob chips. i am eating a mango.

i was walking into jasons house with david yesterday....or the day before. and these boys walked by. and said hello to me. i apprehensivly said hello back. then one of them said "how are you?" and i said "fine." and he said, "you be lookin' that way." i just wasnt. and i thought it was awfully rude. i dont understand. i cant believe anyone would have the audacity to just be that...argh. forward.

i organized jasons cds to the extent that i could. hes pretty messy. even for a boy. hes one of the best kids i know though. i wish i hung out with him as much as i did when i was a little one. but we are both big kids now. and we both have jobs. i have dkny, and he has sherwinn williams. and i have my sweet david, and he has his megan. but i wish we played together more. i suppose it could also be that he doesnt feel as much as a need to be my role model anymore now that im not terrible....well not making myself more terrible. oh well, at least we are still buddies. yeah. hes a good kid.

posted by andria dinse at 6:55 PM

YES!!! I FINISHED MY TERM PAPER!!!
posted by jamie o. at 11:26 PM

jeff was bugging me today and took three precious hours of mine to help him download stuff off of napster. so difficult. "i got to get on napster so i can get this stuff on my mini disc!" oooh my gosh. so why not further my distraction by blogging? i see no objection. after reading this book i think i will be able to begin writing my persuasive paper. radical vegetarianism has good logic til part II: ethic. this is where i find most vegetarians gone bad. then i have to dispose of all of their thought to begin with! aaah, mess mess. the author's opinion is not fact. so i am not fretting. i am glad i've been given a brain like the rest of this planet. well, more adventures in vegetarianism are awaiting me.
posted by jamie o. at 4:51 PM

dsl is grea. i'm sitting at my friend jason's house waiting fr andria to come home from work. i guess the whole napster thing has almost lost is's novelty cause i'm lonely. . and there's no one to talk to around here. every cute kid i try to im on make out club isn't around, and no one has really sent me any messages the whole morning i've been on. i guess it'll rock when i go home tomorrow and have tons of new stuff to listen to.

i spent the majority of yesterday watching the making the band marathon. geez.. i'm thinking there's one of two ppl i could have outdone that did win .. but andria doesn't think i can do it. well, maybe if i put my mind to it.. ok. nevermind. it was really nice to watch that and do nothing fr a change, but i can see how it can also just drone you out.. sitting there fr six hours straight, and going into my room and cleaning during commercials. ok,.i was bored, and i wanted andria to come and that was a good way to waste my time.

webcam. andria is going to be giving me hers soon, so we'll soon have that to rock too. we took a bunch of pictures last nite, and i did take a few just a few minutes ago. i think we have something like 60 pictures to post, but we'll see how many we'll actually put up. who wants to see 60 pictures of us?? heh. someone out there.. maybe?

rock on. the cds are burning.
posted by david star at 1:23 PM

setting: echoing green cover of safety dance // chex cereal // dance clothes // jeff just got home // headache

so, i've made another decision. i want to make sure that i make everything i do worth it. let us see how this goes. the seminar event on friday night was very exciting. for the workshop i had no idea which one to choose, and i saw courtney in a room so i ran and sat next to her, and oooh, that was no coicidence. he spoke about truth. it was beautiful, truth is beautiful, Jesus is beauty. let us see how i live my life. keep your eye on me, tell me to shape up when i am faltering! ok, i love. Jesus is power.

posted by jamie o. at 6:01 PM

my throat is really starting to hurt. bah. and i come back online after getting off fr the nite. i guess i didn't leave did i? heh.

i'm afraid of andria getting tired of me. i figured out that it costs us ten dollars a week to call each other. pretty bad, even tho she doesn't live that far. i wish it didn't cost us any money, but, it'll be fine soon. and i realized that the money we'll save with that when we move in, we'll be able to get dsl. heh. we're geeky kids.

and i cam back cause i did not blog today. i'm trying to do better on it. i'm trying. i'm sleepy.. so i'm gonna get at that, since andria went to bed already. nite.
posted by david star at 11:34 PM

depending on how i am feeling that day, i can be interpretted as a judge, a businessman, and an experimentor. kinda funny because last night i told someone i was experimenting on her hand. (we get bored at practices...) so here is my diagnosis for today:

jamie Like just 5% of the population you are an EXPERIMENTER (DIAT). Although you're slightly shy (admit it!), you love control. When a problem comes your way, you stomp on it swiftly and decisively. You are bothered easily by failure in others and failure in yourself. You don't like people that you don't think are intelligent. Rather than arguing with them, however, you would just as soon ignore them altogether.
In relationships, you have a strong heart. And because you're introverted, people take you as someone they can trust. In addition to solving problems, there's a devilish part of you that likes to create problems, too. Once you stir things up, you like to sit back and watch the chaos unfold. No one would ever suspect you're the one who started it.
Don't despair. You're really a good person at heart.

i feel so bad. i feel like i did something wrong. whatever, today is going to be a good day!!!
posted by jamie o. at 10:31 AM

it's eleven thirty and the club is jumpin jumpin. i got my subwoofer and the new speakers hooked up to my computer. rock. i feel like i should be having a party or something, but i just don't do that sort of thing. nope. and after a day of potential treasures, the cable to hook the speakers up came out on top. even over the $1 record player and the other $7 one. ok, those were pretty good scores.

it's weird seeing kids that read yr blog. . but i guess i know ben. . or at least we've crossed paths more than a few times. jamie told me that i'm like a sitcom star. . but i don't think enough kids read this everyday. . i want a 100 ppl a day, but we're getting like 60. rock. still pretty good.

i'm tired, cause i've been running around all day. not really running, but in a car, which is worse. i've accepted that i'm not punk rock. i ride in cars. i try not to, but i guess it comes with the territory. . when yr girlfriend lives an hour away.

have a good nite. if you can.
posted by david star at 8:48 PM

joy! joy! ahhhh straight joy! this week has been fantastic although it was supposed to be hectic and stressful. blessings, are amazing.

celebrate life. we have all we need and then some. i praise God that i do not have to go into a cave and sleep on dampened matresses just to hear about his name in a country where it is illegal to love the Lord. is that humane? is that freedom? well.. they dont have freedom there as we have here. i praise the Lord with my life. i am trying so hard. bless someone.
posted by jamie o. at 7:53 PM

am i hot or not? come on. .i think i deserve better than the 3.4 . . so so tragic, i don't even want to think abt it.
posted by david star at 8:36 AM

a day without the blog. oh no. .. andria came to see me in the bad bad weather. and my mom and dad asked me if i made her come, or if i insisted fr her to go out in the gusting winds. . i think i'm always insisting on seeing her. even when i'm sick. that girl. . where did she come from?

i'm listening to my rock rival. . sadly, we haven't really done much battling, but i think it has something to do that he's a part of the whole snobby sacto indie scene that i'm not a part of. .but i'm a snobby boy too. it's not just that. well anyways, and that, he made this girl break up with me. . maybe that's it. but he does write good songs, and does lost of drugs. and i don't do drugs. .

i'm sleepy sleepy. i woke up like i didn't get enough sleep, and that totally wasn't it. i go to work, but i'm having my mom drive me because i'm afraid to ride my bike in the heavy rain and wind. it's scary. really. really. and i'm already looking forward to work, bank, andria, computer, tv. . . the usual. .but i threw the tv thing in the mix. i'm boring.. let me apologize.

posted by david star at 8:28 AM

i wish andria wrote me more letters. i think it's just a frame of mind of writing that i hold. . i just do it cause that's what i'm used to. i think until now, i always wrote girls little letters and notes abt how i feel. never being so honest. she says i am too honest sometimes, but now i know where i'm at with that.

i just woke up from napping not too long ago. still working on the recording, and still missing her. right now. . . right now. heh. the thought of not seeing her fr a month scared me. . i cried, and i couldn't stop. but i think everything is ok, and is permitting. i don't want to be apart. . i don't want to be left out like that. it's something that's not really that easy and fun to explain. it's because we both started this month,and dealt with living last month with negative dollars in our bank accounts. weak. i know. . and somehow we owe money. whatever. i don't want to think abt that.. right now.

i told my mom i was going to moving out in the summer. . had a big long conversation abt it. . and finished.. well, almost finished the whole thing, while we were still in the housewares section at target. i used the subject of getting me a blender as a clutch. i don't want to hurt my mom. . and i don't want her to worry, but i guess i have to realize that it's what good moms do. worry. and the blender mom was gonna buy me. . i did not get. pretty productive trip i say. and this is where i do all my mom talking.. mainly. enroute somewhere, or while shopping.

and i'm a shitty vegan. i'm stuck and really lost in the bag of cookie monster cookies. wow. and that's how i felt when i saw the three bags sitting in the kitchen. yes. what a dad. thanks.

posted by david star at 6:49 PM

woo. jamie blogged. thank goodness. david is jealous because i still get one new person a day instant messaging me from make out club. this boy just told me he wanted to mail me a picture of his ass. that is so disturbing. david has absolutely nothing to be jealous of. our tickets for death cab for cutie have not come yet. worries. i need to go to work in 2 hours. thats budge. i am covering for this girl named tiana. she is not small, but wears pretty small clothes. i dont know how i feel about that. i am quitting school....completely. no more of it. so i can work more. because i need more money. that is sick. oh well. ill go back someday. right? i was supposed to make this boy a mix tape and a package almost a month ago. i just finished it today. i am a terrible terrible friend. im so disappointed with myself. im usually pretty good about that. i dont even write to david anymore. i suppose that is just because i have nothing to write. i talk to him at least 3 times a day....but still. he makes me packages all of the time. i just got a picture of tiny david when he was devastated. its the best thing ive seen in a while. eeps. my rice is done.
posted by andria dinse at 2:31 PM

so, i lied. well, here was the deal. i wanted to restrain myself from the internet because i had a term paper to do in four nights where i would two hours each, and i was scared. very scared. but i do agree with myself on this, i need to spend much less time on the internet. time is cutting close with this musical and i haven't kept up with my responibilities so responsibly. but self discipline is going ok. i stil have my head on straight, maybe with a couple less hours of sleep. eeh, i feel like i am shriveling sometimes. i watched the judy garland story because i couldnt sleep and i am afraid of doing something like that. ha! which i am pretty sure i wont do because im not nearly as motivated...which i am going to change. anyway, God has given me a blessing of stress relief, and this term paper was moved back a month and a week. so now, it is just pure excitement about learning again and i can read all the books i checked out and we can all be happy.
posted by jamie o. at 8:02 PM

i cannot take jamies place. yeah. i miss jamie o. boycotter. bah. i got a package from my david today. 2 months. it may be the best package yet. i havent even figured out whats on the tape yet....but im excited to hear it. there are ants at my work. and moths in my rice at home. im freaking out. i went to the health food store i semi-work at to get some rice. now i need to find some armor tupperware to put it in so moths dont go to it. sick. sick. what if i have been eating moth eggs for weeks??? oh god. oh god.
posted by andria dinse at 4:21 PM

i'm crying like my parents died or something.. but no, it's the realization that they treat me so well. and all i do sometimes is ignore them and not act so nice. looking through photos made me realize this.. i should have known all this. .but i just handle pressure sometimes. what am i left now? i'm left with a feeling of failure. my whole life. . they've been there fr me . .when i left school, when i turned vegan. . every single day. and i'm just a bad son. i want to die.

i literally have no idea of what i want to do with my future. i know of graphic design in there somewhere.. and music. but i don't think they understand. . well, they do. i really don't know what i'm doing, and it must not feel so nice to know that their kid doesn't want to go to school... again. i don't want to see myself working jobs like the photo lab and so on when i'm older. i'm scared. .literally, and it's just bad cause i have to live up to these expectations, and all i can do is cry cause i am not making it.

posted by david star at 3:45 PM